It's been almost two months! I seem to have stopped caring about my Xanga within that time, and meanwhile the people who read my quaint brief entries probably have decided not to anymore.

Hmm... I am awfully negative today, it sounds. Probably because I am bitter and melancholy and have been since a couple days ago.

I just have a gutwrenching intuition that something terrible has already happened but I won't find out about it for another several days. I wonder if anyone else gets that feeling, or maybe I have delusional paranoia.

At least I'm healthy now. I've been sick, sick, sick for a good three weeks nonstop, and now I feel like gold. Maybe silver, but that's a whole lot better than dirt.  I appreciate not having a headache so much more than I ever used to...

I am going to start pretending like I am super cool and popular. I'm going to wear lots of makeup and gaucho pants and paint my nails hot pink and carry a sequined purse and call all my friends "Babe" and change my name to Chelsey. Then I'm going to go to all the frat parties and take pictures of my friends wasted and post them on Facebook.

omg, my bf Chett is SoOoO hawtt! hes getting a tattoo of my initials once he gets his ex-gf's removed   id call him ryt now but i just got these nails put on and well, u no, i dont wanna break any of them

Is it wrong to like your friend's family a lot better than your own?

Such was Easter. Ah, Easter. The celebration of Christ's resurrection, only we didn't really celebrate Christ's resurrection this year. Instead we celebrated babies and cherry ice cream and new patios. ... My brother is a yuppy, I've decided.

I've also decided to start going to Mass again after one year of laziness, to re-test familiar waters, so to speak. I don't think I'll ever be a Bible-thumper. I don't thump things in general--metaphorically speaking. Maybe a Bible-poker or a Bible-gesturer. That'd work.

Eight and a half hours of work tonight until close, then eight and a half hours of work tomorrow morning at open. Does anyone else see a problem here?

It takes a real man to wear a dress and purple tights.

You know what I like besides men in dresses and purple tights? Kissing people on the face. Here's a list of people I kissed on the face yesterday before and after the one-acts:

Maggie Williams
Shannon Fahey
Magie Hogan
Paul Dalba
William Caruthers
Meghan McEnery
Devin Hennessey
Lisa Fahey
Ashley Lam

Did I forget anyone?

Be that as it may, I've decided that I like hot better than cold. I also like starlight mints, redheads wearing green, and making people in my English class think I'm "on something." It's been a good day.

It's official. I am reading a poem in front of lots of people at a Howl Reading (they call them "Howl Readings" at my school I guess in honor of Ginsberg) and I'm pretty stoked.

"Did I Tell You I Really Like That CD You Gave Me?"

While the sun sits like a content king,
too busy bathing in a blue sky,
while the wind ambles casually
through the yellowed napping trees

in the warmth the sun splashed over,
all energy is mine and my car's.
Together we pour into day
like a flood of exuberance.

One hand lightly steers; the other
pounds an invisible keyboard;
a mysterious third beats a drum while
my imaginary passenger sings with me.

My stereo vibrates like a heartbeat
and pierces like an unwarranted laugh
as those loud, unlessoned voices abandon
all forms of rhythmic norm to cry their creativity.

And I find myself racing through the light,
a sprite delightfully obnoxious,
carried by reckless excitement into a state
midway between care and worry.

It's about me listening to Mates of State, by the way. A little melodramatic but I did that on purpose. Plus I'm proud of the title.

Tonight I am not going anywhere. I have not not gone anywhere in ... God, I don't even know how long. I like this...